Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
I had a post written earlier, it was to be honest, rather negative. When reading over it before I posted it, I realised that although today had it's bad points, it also had so many wonderful points. I guess I blogged the bad stuff because I needed to vent a bit, but I wrote and felt much better, and also realised that today has been wonderful.I also have to thank Mr Oli (who's blog I just found today so YAY as it is very good and very thought provoking)for my new way of thinking, or rather the way I will be thinking from now on. Something about trains, I'm not sure all I can remember is look on the positive, skip the negative :) So I am going to have the most wonderful weekend which I can't wait to begin. I don't care how much my lungs scream at me tommorow I will enjoy the day! They can have sunday to recop and rest. But tommorow they play by my rules. So YAY!
Anyhoos, today was mostly spent in bed being rather puffy. But this gave me quality time to hone my skills at Gears of War (new Xbox 360 game). I also got to get very organised and sorted for tommorow as of course involved the debate over shoes (took over an hour to decide on boots rather than stupidly high heels that I would fall and break my neck in). It also involved the nightmare 'which black bag do I bring', the sensible one that will hold inhalers etc or the tiny but very very sexy one that holds um my phone, thats about it. I decided for the uber tiny one, mum can carry meds and I felt I deserved it after sacraficing the shoes.
So once all that was done, and the phone call to the hospital. It was time to go to gran's for dinner. I have always went to my granny and granda's for dinner on a friday, it is and forever shall be, chip night in the Ponsonby house hold. My granda's chips are legendary within Derry and the surrounding area. They are the best chips ever. I don't know how he does it but dam they are good chips. So over there for dinner and Damien, Orlaith and Kayne were there YAY! Needless to say dinner was cut down to a few chips as I was too busy protecting Kayne from the horrible monsters (children) at my granny's house. It was actually rather fun as he kept smiling and then screwing up his face when anyone came near him, not fussy my godson eh? hehe. So then to get my eyebrows waxed and a facial, very relaxing so am muchly happy now.
Am planning to go to Orla's tonight with all the girls for my birthday, chinese and a few drinks. Should be fun. Am getting an early night though as tommorow will no doubt be long so yay. Sunday will be spent with mum and dad in jammies in front of the fire watching copious amounts of Monty Python and chick flicks :D Family will no doubt be calling in and such but it should be a good day. Anytoodles I really should be going and getting ready (ie out of jammies and into clothes hehe)
Muchly love and huggles to all
xxx
Anyhoos, today was mostly spent in bed being rather puffy. But this gave me quality time to hone my skills at Gears of War (new Xbox 360 game). I also got to get very organised and sorted for tommorow as of course involved the debate over shoes (took over an hour to decide on boots rather than stupidly high heels that I would fall and break my neck in). It also involved the nightmare 'which black bag do I bring', the sensible one that will hold inhalers etc or the tiny but very very sexy one that holds um my phone, thats about it. I decided for the uber tiny one, mum can carry meds and I felt I deserved it after sacraficing the shoes.
So once all that was done, and the phone call to the hospital. It was time to go to gran's for dinner. I have always went to my granny and granda's for dinner on a friday, it is and forever shall be, chip night in the Ponsonby house hold. My granda's chips are legendary within Derry and the surrounding area. They are the best chips ever. I don't know how he does it but dam they are good chips. So over there for dinner and Damien, Orlaith and Kayne were there YAY! Needless to say dinner was cut down to a few chips as I was too busy protecting Kayne from the horrible monsters (children) at my granny's house. It was actually rather fun as he kept smiling and then screwing up his face when anyone came near him, not fussy my godson eh? hehe. So then to get my eyebrows waxed and a facial, very relaxing so am muchly happy now.
Am planning to go to Orla's tonight with all the girls for my birthday, chinese and a few drinks. Should be fun. Am getting an early night though as tommorow will no doubt be long so yay. Sunday will be spent with mum and dad in jammies in front of the fire watching copious amounts of Monty Python and chick flicks :D Family will no doubt be calling in and such but it should be a good day. Anytoodles I really should be going and getting ready (ie out of jammies and into clothes hehe)
Muchly love and huggles to all
xxx
Friday, November 17, 2006
YAY! I finished IV's today. Pretty short time (17 days) to be honest for me but I'm sooo glad they are over. I was getting to the point of just being really annoyed with the creaking and the ictchyness of my port-a-cath so was very pleased to get it out today. Weight is up, I put this down to mum being in Amsterdam on Wednesday/Thursday and bringing back lots of yummy food and me eating non-stop pretty much since. This then made me think that the NHS should prescribe trips to Amsterdam for all CF patients. The food is sooo yummy and filled with ridiclous amounts of calories that it would be impossible not to put on weight there, so when your weight dives a bit, you get sent there till you put it back on :D. Personally I think it's a wonderful plan. My consultant didn't seem to think so but oh well. So back to clinic, lung functions are back to 33% but I can live with that as my sats are back up a bit which is good. So all in all a pretty dam good visit.
Me and mum then headed into town as I wanted to get some christmas prezzies and an outfit for the christening. But the main shop I wanted to go to was the F1 shop to get mum's ferrarri t-shirt. We were seriously upset when we found out that they had closed down!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So I now have to order it online. Grr. This means that most of my Christmas presents have been bought or will be bought online bar a few. So YAY for not having to deal with muchly crowds and annoying people out shopping. :D:D
Oh oh which reminds me. I got an XBox 360 for my birthday. So got to open it early (now turns out I do have one still waiting for my birthday as we ended up buying another) and then spent 50+ hours on lego star wars to complete it and get achievements (they give you pretty stars if you have so many of them hence me wanting tons). Then decided earlier to set up my live account. To do it I had to change my name. All fine and dandy then goes to look at my achievements, now bearing in mind I had 16 of them and they are not easy to get, they had all gone. I have spent the past hour cursing Microsoft up and down the house :D Much to my dad's amusement. He got a shoe threw at him. So I am not impressed and I am needing a fix of Hexic. It is incredibly addictive. But overall I really like the 360, the graphics are amazing and it's just lovely. People winged about the controllers being horrible, personally I love them as it's easier for my tiny hands hehe. So all round YAY's for the birthday present hehe.
On totally unrelated news. Kayne is doing great hehe. He's smiling and everything now. It's soooo cute. He's even cute when he cries! Have attatched some pics of him just because he's gorgeous!
Love and cuddles
Neeshy
Me and mum then headed into town as I wanted to get some christmas prezzies and an outfit for the christening. But the main shop I wanted to go to was the F1 shop to get mum's ferrarri t-shirt. We were seriously upset when we found out that they had closed down!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! So I now have to order it online. Grr. This means that most of my Christmas presents have been bought or will be bought online bar a few. So YAY for not having to deal with muchly crowds and annoying people out shopping. :D:D
Oh oh which reminds me. I got an XBox 360 for my birthday. So got to open it early (now turns out I do have one still waiting for my birthday as we ended up buying another) and then spent 50+ hours on lego star wars to complete it and get achievements (they give you pretty stars if you have so many of them hence me wanting tons). Then decided earlier to set up my live account. To do it I had to change my name. All fine and dandy then goes to look at my achievements, now bearing in mind I had 16 of them and they are not easy to get, they had all gone. I have spent the past hour cursing Microsoft up and down the house :D Much to my dad's amusement. He got a shoe threw at him. So I am not impressed and I am needing a fix of Hexic. It is incredibly addictive. But overall I really like the 360, the graphics are amazing and it's just lovely. People winged about the controllers being horrible, personally I love them as it's easier for my tiny hands hehe. So all round YAY's for the birthday present hehe.
On totally unrelated news. Kayne is doing great hehe. He's smiling and everything now. It's soooo cute. He's even cute when he cries! Have attatched some pics of him just because he's gorgeous!
Love and cuddles
Neeshy
Friday, November 10, 2006
12months, 2 weeks, 2 days...
Till I turn 18 and I head to Belfast to get my piercings. I went up on Thursday to see if I could get some done. But what I want done, you must be 18 for. I begged and almost started to cry (yes that's how much I want these piercings) but he said he wouldn't. So I left the shop rather unimpressed and upset. Then came the devising of lots of plans. Now I could quite easily go down south and get them done, but draw back is that I don't get the piercer I want and trust. So I have decided to wait, to get the person I want and trust to do them for me and another thing is that I have had piercings from him before which healed really well, so did dads. So I know he's dam good at what he does. Plus he's really nice and chats away to relax ya. So I still want some piercings now so am thinking of getting my lip done, just need to talk dad round to it hehe. But dad then agreed to pay for all my piercings to be done next year, so yay for that. I am now counting down to it hehe.
Had clinic on Thursday too. Lung functions are up but weight and sats are down. This would explain general shortness of breath and the fact that my appetite has seemed to have gone on hoildays :p But at least lung functions are going UP. Normally they hit 33 and stop but nope I got to 34. You would think 1% wouldn't make a differnce, but mentally it does, it means 'hah look I can get better' even if only a tiny bit! My consultant also told me he reckons I won't grow anymore :| Not what I wanted to hear. I was living in the hope that I may grow even just a tiny bit more. But um no. So got a dexa bone scan in January some time to check my bones. I've been meant to be taking calcium supplaments for the past two years. I havn't. I have tried all forms of supplament and I can't stand them. So god knows what my bones will be like. Eek. Ah well I drink lots of milk and eat cheese so hopefully they won't be that bad. I've also been runin temps the past few days which I mentioned yersterday. We are putting it down to the IV's clearing out my lungs. So objectives after clinic, eat little and often, keep an eye on temps and hopefully finish IV's next friday. YAY!
On the school front, my physics tutor starts next week. I am actually glad it's starting soon, I have missed so much I jst need to get caught up. ICT is going well It's just revision for our exam now. History is, um, intresting. I hate Russian history, it is boring and not fun. Actually I generally only enjoy learning about a war. I don't know why. But I like learning their motivations, their tactics, and how they were defeated or how they won. It also really intrigues me as to no matter who they are, be it Hitler or George Bush, they do genuilnly believe that they are doing the right thing by their country. Take Hitler, he wanted his country to be all dominent, powerful and perfect, he saw his killing of millions 'OK' as it was for the greater good. Geroge Bush, he thought he was freeing the Iraq people from an evil ruler, when all he has done is cause a hell of alot more trouble. I guess it's just down to how they view the world. But I love learning about that. Hmm slightly side tracked. Anyway, my point being, I do not care about how or why the Reds took power in Russia, I do not care how the Tsar got overthrown. But only another week or so of that then onto Germany!! YAY!
Anyways I'm off to snooze before going and being very busy.
Neeshy
xxx
Had clinic on Thursday too. Lung functions are up but weight and sats are down. This would explain general shortness of breath and the fact that my appetite has seemed to have gone on hoildays :p But at least lung functions are going UP. Normally they hit 33 and stop but nope I got to 34. You would think 1% wouldn't make a differnce, but mentally it does, it means 'hah look I can get better' even if only a tiny bit! My consultant also told me he reckons I won't grow anymore :| Not what I wanted to hear. I was living in the hope that I may grow even just a tiny bit more. But um no. So got a dexa bone scan in January some time to check my bones. I've been meant to be taking calcium supplaments for the past two years. I havn't. I have tried all forms of supplament and I can't stand them. So god knows what my bones will be like. Eek. Ah well I drink lots of milk and eat cheese so hopefully they won't be that bad. I've also been runin temps the past few days which I mentioned yersterday. We are putting it down to the IV's clearing out my lungs. So objectives after clinic, eat little and often, keep an eye on temps and hopefully finish IV's next friday. YAY!
On the school front, my physics tutor starts next week. I am actually glad it's starting soon, I have missed so much I jst need to get caught up. ICT is going well It's just revision for our exam now. History is, um, intresting. I hate Russian history, it is boring and not fun. Actually I generally only enjoy learning about a war. I don't know why. But I like learning their motivations, their tactics, and how they were defeated or how they won. It also really intrigues me as to no matter who they are, be it Hitler or George Bush, they do genuilnly believe that they are doing the right thing by their country. Take Hitler, he wanted his country to be all dominent, powerful and perfect, he saw his killing of millions 'OK' as it was for the greater good. Geroge Bush, he thought he was freeing the Iraq people from an evil ruler, when all he has done is cause a hell of alot more trouble. I guess it's just down to how they view the world. But I love learning about that. Hmm slightly side tracked. Anyway, my point being, I do not care about how or why the Reds took power in Russia, I do not care how the Tsar got overthrown. But only another week or so of that then onto Germany!! YAY!
Anyways I'm off to snooze before going and being very busy.
Neeshy
xxx
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Do NOT screw with the song...
Ok so Weeds season 1 was aired one Sky1 almost a year ago now. It kicked ass! Best of all though, it had the most amazing theme song. It was just catchy and fun. So I found out that season 2 had been aired in the states so downloaded it. Me, mum and dad sat down last night to watch some of it. Now dad loves the theme song just as much as me. So picture the amount of screaming, tantrums and swear words flying about when they screwed with the theme song. It was just EVIL! They then proceded to change it for the next 5 episodes, each song getting progressivly worse. I am dreading the theme songs to tonights episodes. I told Petey this today, he downloaded it, rang me up and we had a good old bitching session. It was fun. Bar the horrible new theme song, it was actually very good. Just as good as the first season which rocks. So muchly impressed. Going to watch some more tonight. Now while I am on my Tvness, there is just too many good things out there at the moment. My weekly TV viewing going as such
Monday - America's Next Top Model
Tuesday - Prison Break
Thursday - Lost (season 3)
Saturday - Strictly Come Dancing
Sunday - Torchwood
Pete has also suggested Heroes. Apparntly a cross between Lost and X-Men. Should be good so shall start watching that soon. I am also now addicted to The OC. It is the re-runs on E4, which I am watching as I never really liked the OC before now so yes that is on at 6pm every night. So for the next few weeks, my lovely friends will lose me to TV, bar Stephen who is according to him, going to spend every waking minute over here. I do not think this is a good idea, neither of us will get any work done at all and we will live on haribo and ben and jerry's. Hmm.
Ok so unrelated to all that. Cris. yes you knew it was coming. I havn't been able to stop thinking about him. We have spent all evening on the phone since he got in from school. We have now resorted to txting to free up the phones (how good are we hehe). But dude I wish he was here. I done the long distance thing before with him. Granted we were younger and alot more immature, but the distance hasn't changed. But my feelings for him have. I love him more. Spent lunch chatting about this to Orla, she said maybe things will work out, that we had to break up, go through everything we have done, to get to now, to get to actually know how much we mean to each other. So we have decided that I am going up there this weekend, giving that both sets of parents agree. We need to talk properly about where we stand and what is happening with us properly, not over the phone. Bahh. I'm really nervous now. I want us to get back together, but I don't know if it's wise. Maybe we are better like this? I don't know. I guess all I can do is wait and see. Until then I can be nervous. Seeing him on Thursday though so yay.
Kayne's christening is now booked for the 25th. Priest is really lovely so that's good. Need to sort out all the god-mothery things I need to get him plus get an outfit sorted. EEK. What are you meant to wear to a christening? Last one I went to I was like 5!! But I can't wait. That weekend will be uber busy for me though so I'm thinking of holding birthday celebrations the week after, but then people start to get busy with work nights out due to the fact most of my friends are now working. I might take the easy option and buggar off to banbridge the weekend after for my birthday lol. Can't wait now hehe.
Love and cuddles
Neeshy
xxx
Monday - America's Next Top Model
Tuesday - Prison Break
Thursday - Lost (season 3)
Saturday - Strictly Come Dancing
Sunday - Torchwood
Pete has also suggested Heroes. Apparntly a cross between Lost and X-Men. Should be good so shall start watching that soon. I am also now addicted to The OC. It is the re-runs on E4, which I am watching as I never really liked the OC before now so yes that is on at 6pm every night. So for the next few weeks, my lovely friends will lose me to TV, bar Stephen who is according to him, going to spend every waking minute over here. I do not think this is a good idea, neither of us will get any work done at all and we will live on haribo and ben and jerry's. Hmm.
Ok so unrelated to all that. Cris. yes you knew it was coming. I havn't been able to stop thinking about him. We have spent all evening on the phone since he got in from school. We have now resorted to txting to free up the phones (how good are we hehe). But dude I wish he was here. I done the long distance thing before with him. Granted we were younger and alot more immature, but the distance hasn't changed. But my feelings for him have. I love him more. Spent lunch chatting about this to Orla, she said maybe things will work out, that we had to break up, go through everything we have done, to get to now, to get to actually know how much we mean to each other. So we have decided that I am going up there this weekend, giving that both sets of parents agree. We need to talk properly about where we stand and what is happening with us properly, not over the phone. Bahh. I'm really nervous now. I want us to get back together, but I don't know if it's wise. Maybe we are better like this? I don't know. I guess all I can do is wait and see. Until then I can be nervous. Seeing him on Thursday though so yay.
Kayne's christening is now booked for the 25th. Priest is really lovely so that's good. Need to sort out all the god-mothery things I need to get him plus get an outfit sorted. EEK. What are you meant to wear to a christening? Last one I went to I was like 5!! But I can't wait. That weekend will be uber busy for me though so I'm thinking of holding birthday celebrations the week after, but then people start to get busy with work nights out due to the fact most of my friends are now working. I might take the easy option and buggar off to banbridge the weekend after for my birthday lol. Can't wait now hehe.
Love and cuddles
Neeshy
xxx
Sunday, November 05, 2006
I love days like those
I spent Wednesday-Friday with Cris but also in hospital. He stayed up with me. We went back to his dad's in the afternoons though. It was really lovely. Thursday was by far the best day though. We left the hospital at 2ish and didn't have to be back till 11. We done nothing! It was wonderful! We sat in the house, ate Ben and Jerry's (by the way, never EVER have a compitition to see who can finish a tub of pish food first. All participents will end up being sick down the toilet or sink), watched TV, played warcraft, and were generally very lazy. The only time either of us exerted ourselves was skateboarding round his back garden which is tiny. I did find out I am not a skateboarder. I landed on my ass ALOT, much to the ammusment of Lilly (Mark), Paul and Cris. So that is now out the window as a career option! But I love days like those. It was just very relaxing and lovely. I love spending time like that with Cris where we don't have to do anything, where we can simpley enjoy being there in that moment. Now that he is so far away it is harder for us to get time like that as when we meet up we generally have so much planned. The highlight of the day was sitting outside, wrapped in a blanket watching the sunset in his arms. It was really peaceful and lovely. Spending those few days with him were amazing. It always reminds me why the hell I love him so much, why I will always love him and why I could never let him or make him leave my life. I wouldn't be complete without him. But the downside is, after times like this where we spend a few days together, neither of us know where we stand, it's hard, we might as well be in a dam relationship, but being so far away it's hard and not fair on either of us. Though it's not like either of us have been with anyone else recently. Bah I don't know. Plus now that I'm home I miss him like hell. I spent ages today on the phone to him, and have only came off so we can both get some school work done. Grr. Get to see him on Thursday hopefully though. I am in Blefast at clinc and am heading into town to a piercing studio, I refuse to go near all the places in Derry to get pierced as they are hell holes. So he is coming in to, partly to hold my hand and partly to get pierced himself so get to spend a few hours with him then. YAY!
Oh dear I have waffled on there. Opps. On other matters, my lungs are being nice and actually improving a bit :O Used the bird while in hospital and it helps so yay! Plus we are now doing more Iv drugs just to blast any and all infection.I also hate all doctors that are not my CF team. They think they know all about CF and can tell me what to do. Um NO! I should explain, my CF doctors are in America at the moment. So another doctor has been left in charge of us. She tried to tell me that I shouldn't be using my o2 as much (even though my sats drop alot with any exerction etc) she also thinks that I should eat more, even though with the appetie of a hamster I am eating a fair bit. Now this is the icing on the cake. She tries to change all my treatments. IV's included. My IV's and stuff had been pre-arranged with my CF team the previous week so I knew what I was supposed to be on. Oh and apparntly my life should revolve around my health. Don't get me wrong, I take really good care of myself, but my life never has and never will revolve around my illness. Plus this really pissed me off this bit, she told me I should go on the pill. Now A) it doesnt work properly if at all with CF, surely being a doctor she should know this. B) If and when I want to go on any form of contraception I will bring it up with my CF team, not her a complete numpty. GAH!
Ok so for much nicer stuff now, Kayne! Seen him earlier today. That kid rocks socks!!!!!!!!! He is doing really really well now which everyone is happy about plus he is now taking 6oz bottles. YAY! He kept similing today which was so cute! He is getting even more like his daddy now. Um bar that not much else. Oh no, he is sleeping almost through the night, well 5 hours which for 3 weeks is bloody great. Very proud of him hehe. Shall upload more pics in a bit but going now to actually do some work. EEP!!!!!!!!!!
Love and cuddles
Neesh
xx
Oh dear I have waffled on there. Opps. On other matters, my lungs are being nice and actually improving a bit :O Used the bird while in hospital and it helps so yay! Plus we are now doing more Iv drugs just to blast any and all infection.I also hate all doctors that are not my CF team. They think they know all about CF and can tell me what to do. Um NO! I should explain, my CF doctors are in America at the moment. So another doctor has been left in charge of us. She tried to tell me that I shouldn't be using my o2 as much (even though my sats drop alot with any exerction etc) she also thinks that I should eat more, even though with the appetie of a hamster I am eating a fair bit. Now this is the icing on the cake. She tries to change all my treatments. IV's included. My IV's and stuff had been pre-arranged with my CF team the previous week so I knew what I was supposed to be on. Oh and apparntly my life should revolve around my health. Don't get me wrong, I take really good care of myself, but my life never has and never will revolve around my illness. Plus this really pissed me off this bit, she told me I should go on the pill. Now A) it doesnt work properly if at all with CF, surely being a doctor she should know this. B) If and when I want to go on any form of contraception I will bring it up with my CF team, not her a complete numpty. GAH!
Ok so for much nicer stuff now, Kayne! Seen him earlier today. That kid rocks socks!!!!!!!!! He is doing really really well now which everyone is happy about plus he is now taking 6oz bottles. YAY! He kept similing today which was so cute! He is getting even more like his daddy now. Um bar that not much else. Oh no, he is sleeping almost through the night, well 5 hours which for 3 weeks is bloody great. Very proud of him hehe. Shall upload more pics in a bit but going now to actually do some work. EEP!!!!!!!!!!
Love and cuddles
Neesh
xx
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